A Backwards Love

A Backwards Love

Is it love?

If you say

“That dress really compliments your curvy figure.”

And I smile at the mirror,

because you think I look nice.

But then you add,

“But you could afford to drop a few pounds.”

And I want to cry,

because I’m expecting this from everyone,

but just not you.

Is it love?

If you say

“You have such beautiful legs.”

And I’m crossing my fingers

hoping thats it,

praying that you really think

I look pretty.

(I’m not even hoping for beautiful!)

But you’re not done;

you keep talking.

“But don’t wear those shorts, you look like a slut.”

And I’m so disappointed,

because you proved me right,

but I wanted so much to be wrong.

It doesn’t matter if you’re trying to help,

you’re the one who’s supposed to support me.

You’re the one I’m supposed to run crying to,

not run crying from.

And it doesn’t matter

how hard I try,

and how much I change,

because I’ll never be just right.

But I don’t care.

Because I still try,

and I change everything

for you,

because you love me

and I love you.

But is it love?

And if you can understand nothing else,

realize this:

If this is your way of showing love,

you need to try harder.

Because no matter how much I change,

and how hard I try,

there’s always something that needs fixing.

And no matter how hard I try to hide it,

it still hurts.

It’s because of you.