Hard Work Pays
Tick. Tock. Tick. Tock. The monotonous note of a clock on the wall echoed through a quiet kitchen. Both clock hands hovered over a black number 11, printed on the fringes of a colorless circle, identical to the thousands of others hanging on the walls of other chain stores. The bright golden arches hung on the exterior provided a warm glow to the outside of the store, sharply contrasting with the harsh white light that basked the interior. Several of the letters in the illuminated name are broken, so it only spelled, McDnlds. Tyler continued to work his mop back and forth on the linoleum, back and forth, back and forth, a look of intense concentration on his face. The back of his neck glistened with sweat, dripping down into his perfectly ironed uniform. He worked like a skilled artisan, his technique impeccable, making sure to never miss a single spot on the floor. The rhythm of his mop strokes coincided with the ticking of the clock. Tick. Tock. Swish. Swosh.
His co-workers were lounging around, concentrating on the cadence of the clock, waiting for the minute hand to travel to the apex of it’s journey, the cue that their shift has come to an end. A single middle aged man sat in the corner of the restaurant, lazily finishing up his meal.
As Tyler is reverently cleaning away he heard one of his co-workers say, “Hey little dude, what are you doing man? You know we close in five minutes right?”
“Yeah, I know.” Tyler meekly replied.
“Come on, what are you trying to do here, make us look bad? We’re just at McDonald’s bro, calm down. And don’t work too hard, you need to conserve some of your precious calories” the co-worker snidely remarked. The others joined in with weary chuckles.
“Just trying to do my job” Tyler simply responded. He resumed his work, dragging the mop around the floor. The sleeves of his shirt flapped around due to the lack of substance they contained. His small, scrawny figure was unusual for a person in his job field.
The co-worker shoke his head and goes back to his phone. Tyler finished cleaning the last section of the floor, then went to put the supplies away. What else needs to be done?, he thought to himself. Tyler strided around the restaurant, and made sure each station was clean and tidy. He threw away a piece of trash here, straightened a ketchup bottle there. The manager was standing in the counter, curiously observing him do his work.
The last customer finished his food, wiped his mouth, and got up to throw away his trash. As he left, the two other employes got up, gathered their things, and prepared to leave too. Tyler was still there, counting up the money for the day and recording it in the log. He would still have some homework to do when he got home, although he completed the vast majority of it right after he got home from school. As one of the other employees opened the door, a rush of cool night air entered, disrupting the stale atmosphere that currently lingered. Suddenly, the manager approached Tyler and said “Hey Tyler, I’ve seen how you work during this last month that you’ve been here, and I have to say, I’m impressed. You do most of the work our Assistant Manager is suppose to do, so how about I make this easier. How would you like your name tag to say ‘Assistant Manager’ instead of ‘Employee’?”
Surprised, Tyler graciously answered, “That would be amazing, thank you so much sir.”
A spark of happiness gleamed in his eye, replacing a worn out, tired expressed that presently occupied his face.
“Great, I’ll have your bonus check and paperwork to you by tomorrow. Also, with this new position, you have the power to fire any staff member who you think is not contributing what he is suppose to. I trust your judgement” the manager announced.
Tyler thanked his boss once again, and returned to his task with an increased fervor. His co-worker, the same one who was mocking him before, looked at Tyler with disbelief. When Tyler returned his gaze, he quickly looked down, gathered the rest of his things and left as quickly as possible.
Tyler finished up his task, and prepared to leave. As he got to the door, he took one look back at the pristine restaurant, smiled, and disappeared into the night.
I enjoyed your descriptions, especially at the beginning, and how you made what would have been a simple, mundane story about McDonald's come to life. I definitely enjoyed your story.
ReplyDeleteI thought you did a good job, especially at the beginning, of painting a picture and helping visualize what is happening in the story, great descriptions!
ReplyDeleteI also liked how simple and clear it was, it wasn't bogged down by unnecessary phrases, etc.
ReplyDeleteI like Tyler's character portrayal, I could see what type of person he is. I also like how the message/ theme is so clear
ReplyDeleteI love the ending to this story-- it actually made me smile. Go Tyler! You did a very nice job creating his personality through his actions and dialogue, something that's hard to do.
ReplyDeleteI thought this had great sensory details, and really makes you feel like you're in the scene with Tyler. I also like how you displayed your theme through a character.
ReplyDeleteWow, I really enjoyed your story! Your description of the scene and characters is well-worded, and intricately detailed. I could picture the scene in my head. :) Also, I like that you kept your plot simple, and focused on your character descriptions more. Good job!
ReplyDelete