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Friday, April 24, 2015

Creative Writing

The Piano Room

The piano stood in the corner of the room, casting black shadows on the wall. It was a real grand piano, made from fine wood with rich ivory keys. A young boy hunched over it, slender and pale. Sweet, sonorous tones swelled through the air as he played. His fingers were magical, wonderful, and they played beautiful, enchanting songs. Behind him towered a man, his father, austere and imposing. Gradually, the music came to an end, and the boy sighed. Sweat dripped down his brow, and he slumped in his chair. “Again!” Father commanded, his voice cold and emotionless. “But…” the boy began, but soon relented, and began to play, watchful, critical eyes following his every move. Father was a spiteful, cruel man, and he treated the boy poorly. He would spend his days in the study with him and the piano. On days like today, when his patience was short and his temper ran hot, he would fly into fits of rage, threatening and abusing the boy. He watched him play intently. Lush notes filled the room, interrupted by shouting.
It wasn’t a particularly well-appointed room. It stood at the top of the equally unimpressive house, a lone window connecting it to the world below. Most passed it by without so much as a glance: it seemed normal enough. The boy knew better, through. The room was a prison, and every stroke of the keys pounded nails into its bars. The boy was trapped, a slave to his father’s obsessive ambitions. As he played, he looked out of the window. He watched the children run upon the sun-lit fields and he longed to be with them, to feel the warmth against his skin. He longed to be free, to be human. Still, he kept playing.  The thought of Father’s punishment was enough to keep him plodding over the keys. The joy of playing had dissipated long ago, cast off with the lashings of Father’s tongue. His gaze was robotic, lifeless. His fingers were primitive tools, hammering mechanically on the keys. Father swirled like a storm around him, berating him, roaring in anger. “You’ll never be good enough!” he snarled, the boy choking back tears as he played. Cowering, he continued playing. He mustered a few notes before the next insult was hurled. Father was a despot, dominating his lone subject. There was nothing the boy could do. The room was a separate world, isolated from reality. The walls closed in on him with every stroke of the keys. His cries for help were drowned out by the din of the piano. The music began to build in tempo, the chords rising in volume. He hated his father then, and his sorrow and despair turned to anger. His fingers danced manically about the keys, each note ringing in his ears. Father’s words crashed over him like waves, the boy’s playing growing more fervent as he absorbed the vitriol. The music reached a deafening crescendo. He flew over the keys with intensity, with Father still in his tirade. Chords boomed from the piano, the floor shaking from the noise. Fearsome, discordant tones swelled through the room. Father reached for the boy, gripping him like a vice, and the music stopped.

The piano stood in the corner of the room, casting black shadows on the wall, and it was silent. The rich ivory keys were dotted with scarlet. A man, once austere and imposing, lay prostrate on the floor of the room, his body limp and lifeless. Outside, a group of children ran upon the sun-lit fields and a slender, pale boy ran with them.

10 comments:

  1. I loved your ending. It completely tied the whole scene back together. Your description of each object was also really good. Your vocab was also really good and helped develop the story.

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  2. OMG PLOT TWIST. really interesting and well written, very original idea. it was very attention grabbing and the climax was amazing. a+

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  3. You used a lot of sensory detail and emotions in the story- especially in the second to last paragraph. When reading it you have a clear picture of what is going on in your mind. The ending was also really shocking and it made the story very memorable.

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  4. It was really descriptive and made it easy for me to visualize. As a musician myself, I can more easily relate to what you're talking about. Really good job at building it up, and of course, I loved the ending.

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  5. I like how you describe the boy's hatred for his father. It's very vivid. The ending was really unexpected. Your description of the piano was also good,

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  6. The story is so effective even thought it is shorter than most others. Amazing description and feeling.

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  7. Oh my god.. This is so captivating, and I especially love how the story, though written, is told through music.

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  8. That was very intense. I loved the sensory details you included, it really gave you a strong image of what the room and piano looked like. Your story was very captivating from the start.

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  9. I really liked all the details of the piano and the study. This really made me feel like I was watching a movie.

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  10. I like your use of the extended metaphor since it helps with the idea that you present in your work. The twist at the end was very well executed as well.

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