“Spare some change for the needy sir?” asked the salvation army worker, ringing the bell as Bryan stepped into the supermarket. Bryan had no spare change since that was his budget for food for the coming days.
“I don’t have any, maybe one day’ Bryan managed smile as he spoke those words, hoping that he would be out of this hole in his life. Student loan payments and credit card bills were due at the end of the month, the minimum being ninety percent of Bryan’s savings. The other nine percent was to go to the rent and utilities. The last one percent, about ten dollars and twenty cents, was for the food for next six days. The bills had been paid and all he had to his name know in the case of money was what he had in his pocket. He could get almost four days worth of food for that price, if he was lucky.
Bryan scanned the aisle in the empty supermarket, trying to find something cheap and in bulk. But what stared back at him was overpriced commodities, The prices bared down on him, laughing at his poverty. The cheapest things there were the knock-offs and the second rate products. Bryan grumbled and reluctantly took them into his cart. Everything that he took pained him to do so, as it pushed him deeper and deeper to the limit that he had. The world seemed to be against him putting up obstacles at every turn off the corner.
The cashier was bored, standing there with blank eyes, and seeming like a husk of a person. He rang up the Bryan's sad pile of items. The little screen next to the cashier was the only indication for what was going on. The numbers went up and up, reaching the limit that he was set by. Hopefully he had done his addition correctly. Bryan felt his world slip away from as the total paused at ten dollars five cents, then rose twice more as his final items crossed the line.
“The total is eleven dollars seventy three cents sir”, the drone said. With these words the colour drained from Bryan’s face. He had scavenged the store looking for the lowest priced items and still that wasn't enough, now he wouldn't be able to get enough food.
Removing anything would remain starving for another day. He could try the credit card and bite the overdraft fees, but that wasn't worth it.
His life wasn't a success, he left the store with nine cents to his name, poorer than before. He would sink to the lowest level of poverty, but he would survive.
“Spare some change sir?” the Salvation Army worker asked one more time as he left, and Bryan did. He dropped all his savings into the collection can. A whole nine cents.
I like how you describe the despair of the main character. The way you describe his poverty makes me feel bad for him. I also like your description of the food in the super market.
ReplyDeleteYour story is very touching. I liked how you went into detail of how his poverty affected him and his everyday life. I also liked how you deeply described the mans emotions about his situation.
ReplyDeleteI like the way you describe how the supermarket is 'laughing' at his sum of money. Also, the ending was surprising, because I did not expect him to donate money even though he is suffering.
ReplyDeleteI loved the end of the story when you put the main character into the same situation and he totally changed. It seemed as though when you have nothing, you give more. The emotions weren't truly expressed in the character but you could definitely feel them.
ReplyDeleteWow, Leo - beautifully written and I love how it ends. Powerful!
ReplyDeleteThis was such a touching story because you were able to convey this character's experience with poverty so well although it is something that we do not experience in our own lives. The ending and hook also complemented each other very nicely and tied the paper together well.
ReplyDeleteI love this story and the ending. I can definitely feel the character's pain and frustration.
ReplyDeleteThe message of this story is very moving, how even someone in poverty is able to help those in need. Also, I liked all your descriptions showing how boring and tiring life is, like the description of the cashier.
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