Alex Fowler
Bennett 6
World Literature H
4/19/15
One Word
Ba-boom, ba-boom. My heartbeat slowly began to return to normal as I filled my mouth with ice cold water and plopped myself down on the lush grass. The sun ingrained a white saucer in my eyes as it tucked behind a thick layer of trees. I squinted hard and put my hand up to block the light from my face, wiping the sweat off my forehead with the other.
“This is bullshit,” Katie said, “She can’t punish us more, we did nothing wrong!”
Katie got heated faster than a match, especially if she saw saw somebody being treated unfairly. Her face was bright red, almost like an angry cartoon except smoke was not pouring from her ears. Her and the coach had a special relationship, meaning they each took turns yelling at each other every time they were annoyed.
“Katie, calm down. You don’t need to be angry every time we have to sprint,” I said, trying to get her out of trouble with the coach.
“Olivia, you don’t get it. It isn’t fair to any of us. This isn’t about the sprints, it is about the reason. She doesn’t have one,” she said, her fiery eyes burning my insides.
“All I am saying is that you don’t want to make the punishment worse. Every time you argue with her we get in trouble, so just try to keep you opinions to yourself this time, okay?” I said.
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Her eyes locked in on mine. Her unmoving stare made me immediately uncomfortable and intimidated, as it did whenever she looked someone in the face. With one word, she could send shivers down your spine and make you rethink everything you believed to be true.
“All I’m saying is that you should learn what is ethical and what is not.”
With that she stormed away from me and back onto the field, this time it seemed like steam truly was pouring out of her ears.
The team lined up on the half line, still panting from the last ten minutes of punishment. Our coach looked completely happy, like she enjoyed making us feel dead inside.
“Alright ladies, we are going to be sprinting suicides,” she yelled at us, “We are going to start in 30 seconds, so be ready to run your asses off.”
I could see everybody’s heads drop and their backs pulsating up and down, still trying to catch their breaths. I saw Katie turn her head to both sides, her long black braid slapping her neck as she looked at the zombies around her. Her fingers began to tighten into fists, while mine laid loose and free.
I couldn’t look at things the way she did, and she didn’t even try to understand what I saw. She was not afraid to stand up for what was right, even though deep down I knew it too, I was just too afraid to say anything. Suddenly, she stepped forward and uttered only one word.
“No.”
The dialogue really depicts each character's personality well.
ReplyDeleteI really like the line "Katie got heated faster than a match". I also really like the abrupt ending, it makes you want to read more and know what happened.
ReplyDeleteQuality last line. That itself shows this person's character. Very nicely done!
ReplyDeleteI like how you developed a clear message from the novel in the prison camps, to a relatable scenario that could happen today. :)
ReplyDeleteI love the character development, I can clearly see who Katie is. I also like the last line it stands out from other stories
ReplyDelete